Sketchbook- Ideas in progress

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I finally started working in a sketchbook again. I use my sketchbook from back to front. I can’t seem to start with the first page! Even when I do, I go a few pages in first! I haven’t really been faithful to a sketchbook since I graduated. I am enjoying the “less pressure” feel and using it to experiment with some new ideas. These ideas are more dare I say “commercial” in nature but I am trying to keep my particular style intact.
I know I can pump these out big time if I needed to but something AS ALWAYS keeps me from producing the amount of work I should or could be doing.
I wish I knew exactly what it is that holds me back. Well for one, I still feel like I am my only fan!